Photo by Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic
If a movie award is given out in hotel ballroom and no one is around to hear it was it really given out?
Sunday night saw the announcement of the annual Golden Globe award winners to an audience of basically no one. The big winners of the night: The Power of the Dog and West Side Story.
Traditionally a gathering of tipsy celebrities televised on NBC for the enjoyment of us common folk, the Golden Globes are also known for being a big joke. Established in 1944 by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, a body of … foreign press members … the ceremony’s all but transformed into a meaningless milestone on the road to the Oscars, though a good enough reason to deliver some acceptance speeches, fire off some zingers, and deflate the seriousness of “award season” ever so slightly. But when a Los Angeles Times exposé from last February pinned down the Hollywood Foreign Press Association’s dubious finances and severe lack of diversity, it was looking more or less like the Golden Globes was finally toast. No one really cared, and no one with integrity planned on showing up if the HFPA carried on. NBC canceled the 2022 broadcast with a mandate: “Change of this magnitude takes time and work, and we feel strongly that the HFPA needs time to do it right.”
But instead of taking time and doing the work, the HFPA just carried on. A month after hiring Snoop Dogg to announce its nominees (and making news for the mispronunciation of Ben Affleck and Denis Villeneuve, in a most amusing fashion), the organization held a private event with no livestream, no press access, and no famous faces. Members of the group read the winners over dinner, and the official Globes Twitter account blasted them out. Meanwhile, the Critics Choice Awards, arguably the next biggest awards org after the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences and the HFPA, hoped to swoop in to fill the void with its own televised show, but due to COVID-19 concerns, the awards were delayed from their air date on The CW and TBS on Jan. 9. Sensible! Not the HFPA’s style.
Out of morbid curiosity, here are the winners of the inter-dimensional Golden Globe awards, and this now legendary tweet.
If music is the best medicine @WestSideMovie is the cure for what ails you. Congrats on the #GoldenGlobe for Best Picture — Musical/Comedy. pic.twitter.com/DXPMQwXIxq
— Golden Globe Awards (@goldenglobes) January 10, 2022
Best motion picture, drama
The Power of the Dog
Best actress in a motion picture, drama
Nicole Kidman, Being the Ricardos
Best actor in a motion picture, drama
Will Smith, King Richard
Best motion picture, comedy or musical
West Side Story
Best actress in a motion picture, comedy or musical
Rachel Zegler, West Side Story
Best actor in a motion picture, comedy or musical
Andrew Garfield, Tick, Tick… Boom!
Best director, motion picture
Jane Campion, The Power of the Dog
Best supporting actress in a motion picture
Ariana DeBose, West Side Story
Best supporting actor in a motion picture
Kodi Smit-McPhee, The Power of the Dog
Best original score, motion picture
Hans Zimmer, Dune
Best screenplay, motion picture
Kenneth Branagh, Belfast
Best animated feature film
Encanto
Best foreign language film
Drive My Car
Best original song, motion picture
“No Time to Die,” from No Time to Die
Best TV series, drama
Succession
Best actress in a TV series, drama
Michaela Jaé Rodriguez, Pose
Best actor in a TV series, drama
Jeremy Strong, Succession
Best TV series, comedy or musical
Hacks
Best actress in a TV series, comedy or musical
Jean Smart, Hacks
Best actor in a TV series, comedy or musical
Jason Sudeikis, Ted Lasso
Best limited series or TV movie
The Underground Railroad
Best actress in a limited series or TV movie
Kate Winslet, Mare of Easttown
Best actor in a limited series or TV movie
Michael Keaton, Dopesick
Best supporting actress in a TV series
Sarah Snook, Succession
Best supporting actor in a TV series
O Yeong-su, Squid Game
